Paris, Je t'aime...I think

Well now that it has been over a month it seems like a good time to recap the 2014 Paris Marathon!

On April 6, I ran the Schneider Electric Marathon along with 3 improv friends from around the United States, but before I get to the race I should back you up to my 'training' which I call "How to mess up your training, be saved by a coach, and somehow finish a Marathon in 3 weeks."

After I finished the mammoth that was the Dopey Challenge (which included my first marathon), I was done with running. Not just sore, but DONE. I had no desire to head out for a run, let alone train for one.

About 3 weeks out from Paris I received an incredibly stern chat/Come to Jesus talk from my coach Pablo. I will spare you the details but a few key points came out of that chat

1) If I wanted to run a marathon I needed to focus on running, not lifting.
2) I needed to believe I could run this race and that I was capable.
3) I needed to start training with an altitude mask because the air quality in Paris is horrible and as an asthmatic....that was a recipe for disaster.

Want to earn strange looks and Bane comments? Get an altitude mask.

So armed with a plan full of running, rowing, altitude mask, and yoga,  I made the most of the final 3 weeks of training. I would be lying if I said it was easy and I'd also be lying if I didn't bemoan it almost everyday. 

As a thank you I turned a joke into a t-shirt and as requested- I wore it in front of a monument. 

Inappropriate? Maybe. Worth it? Yes.

My 20 mile run crushed me, thankfully my friend Allison was willing to pick my rain soaked muddy butt up from the middle of nowhere so I didn't have to do an out and back. Have I mentioned I have a great group of friends?

To Paris

Finally the day of my flight arrived. In true fashion I found the other marathoners on my flight to Paris, and we all bonded as we stretched mid-flight. 

First mission in Paris was to find my cohort Rene and get to the Race Expo. I have to say Paris has one of the best Race Expos I've seen, as well as awesome shwag. I mean a headlamp? YES! 

Rene and I living the dream

The next day (April 4) the other half of our group arrived. 

Team Bane accounted for: Bill, Betse, Rene, and some crazy chick

Saturday morning two members went on an official 5k shake out run with the Paris Marathon group and myself and Bill stayed to do our own runs around our neighborhood.  This was just a 2 mile loop, but it was a FANTASTIC run. The best I'd felt in a long time, the weather was perfect, my stride was on track, and I felt back to me.

If I could run here everyday I would.

We settled in for a bit of Star Wars watching and foam rolling for the rest of the day. I laid out my outfit and prepped myself for the 26.2 tour of Paris. 

6am came too soon. I was a bucket of nerves as I warmed up/mobilized. We all geared up in our superhero shirts and headed to the start line. 

Upon seeing the Arc de Triomphe it hit me, I was really about to run in PARIS. 

Yes... we mixed up our superhero universes. We do not care.

Standing in the start line we all just oddly shuffled around. I was the only one in our group who had finished a marathon before, but that didn't make me any less nervous.

I'm in the back, just look closely

Soon we were off running. Cobblestones underfoot and fans cheering on all sides pushed me to a fast first mile (oops). I found Beste and we grabbed hands as we both had shit eating grins on our faces. That first 5K was a blur of sights and people everywhere. 

We arrived at the first fuel stop and I decided to fuel with fruit rather than my own. Paris only provides fresh fruit and sugar cubes on course. Let me tell you...those orange slices were the GREATEST things I've ever tasted. The nectar of the gods. Fueling on oranges would lead to a bonk later in the race, but I was only focused on eating and not slipping on the orange and banana peels.

Betse and I were keeping a steady pace and decided to just stick together for the race, however the race was going to take a down turn pretty quickly. Just before mile 8 we hit a steady hill,  and as often happens I will be a bit out of breath at the top. But as we crested I realized I was struggling to slow my breathing and realized I was wheezing.

Yup...Mile 8 asthma attack. I run with my inhaler so it wasn't a worry and we slowed to a crawl. I then realized that this race was about to come crashing down and then I started crying. This is when I owe the race to Betse. She wouldn't leave and run ahead no matter how many times I insisted she leave. She did her best to keep me positive and would hear no negative talk from me. However, I had a battle going on in my own head.

We battled on for the rest of the race. Looping back along the Seine provided some lovely sights, including Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower. I was slowly loosing steam and bonking- turns out oranges do not sustain me, as filling as they feel. We switched to a 3/1 run/walk ratio as I couldn't even keep a consistent pace.

Photo stolen, though I did feel like laying down.

Did I mention I was done? Betse just kept going and dancing along and having a party. I trailed along head down body killing me. 

Mile 20 appeared and as much as I wanted to power through the last 10K. I had nothing left in me to go. My camelbak was out of water (oh did I mention it was hotter than I anticipated) and there were no water stops in sight. I should also mention that I ended up dehydrated. I would realize later that my down fall was those delicious oranges, not eating my fuel, and not hydrating well. OOPS

By Mile 22 I was contemplating stopping. Some part of my brain realized that this was an effect of me bonking. That small part of me kept me going. 

Around here I finally sent Betse on her way as walking was painful for her and I couldn't keep pace with her. Honestly, spending the last 2 miles was the best thing because I had to fight for myself. Marathon running truly is a mental battle and if you aren't willing to fight, you won't finish. Finally, I saw the finish line and I bawled. I knew my parents were there to see me finish a marathon and I saw Betse there...waiting for me.

I ran across the finish line realizing I'd done it again...I'd finished a marathon and I finished it 1 hour faster than my previous race. Was it the time I wanted? Nope. Did I fight for the time I got? Yup. Does that make it okay? Yeah...it does. 

These photos were taken less than 10ft apart. Confident to cry in 10ft or less. 

Soon after crossing the finish line I interviewed by a French Radio station....in French. If someone finds that audio please send it to me. I am 90% sure I spoke horrible French as trying to even think after a marathon is hard enough. 

We got our shirts, ponchos, and medals. We found our group and hugged.. We had done it. We ran Paris.

How we all really felt at the end.

 I bawled when I found my parents, who flew over to watch me race. 

They also brought champagne to the finish line.

My mother then massaged my legs as I was a cramped mess. Our group collected ourselves and ambled, waddled, and moaned our way back to our apartment.

Once we cleaned up and figured out how to walk we went out to celebrate our accomplishment and plan for future adventures. We did it- 6 months after Rene proposed this crazy idea, we ran Paris. 

A mighty fine view if I do say so.

Marathon 2 is now in the books and while I have a few half-marathons planned for this year I think two marathons in 4 months in plenty for now. 

See you in 2015 26.2! 

365 to Change

Rachel began CrossFit one year ago, here is her reflection on that year. 

Saying Goodbye:

One year ago today, I was 24 hours away from investing in CrossFit -- and investing in myself. Through CrossFit, I've gotten stronger, gained new skills, and gained a community of friends. 

I want look back and say goodbye to the person I was on March 31, 2013. Because on April 1, 2013, I decided to invest in myself for once.

While I've gotten physically stronger and gained new skills, the most amazing change for me has been the mental strength I've gained. Correction: the self-respect I've gained -- and the ability to hold on.

Coming Clean:

This past year, many people told me that I've been inspirational to them. I want to be that person, but first, I want to be honest. This past year has been a hard and difficult fight for myself. I want to start by getting something off my chest, because as I mark this year of change, I want to let go of the person I was. I want to be that person people believe I am, and to do that, I want you to know who I used to be a year ago.

The old Rachel was bulimic and depressed. I am pretty sure I have spent more time facing a toilet than I have putting on makeup in a mirror these past six years. The number of people I have lied to, or made excuses as to why I needed to use the restroom again, is insane. For that, I am sorry.

I battled through the worst of it three years ago, but it never really left. I never truly escaped the purging until this year. While I ceased vomiting after every meal, in the last few years, it would still happen on occasion. It became a comfort to purge; it would allow me to feel control. When I felt fat or stressed, I would purge. When I hit a depression swing, I would purge -- hoping that would somehow right the wrongs. It never did. That mentality of what order to eat food in to optimize purging, or constantly weighing myself  to measure how I felt about myself that day was always there. There was always a voice telling me I was fat and not good enough. I sought comfort in the control of the purge.

Where is this all leading? To a place of self-respect. I had no self-respect or self-confidence when I walked into CrossFit on the morning on April 1, 2013.

This past year, I found a strength within myself I did not know I had. You can't purge when you need to back squat 200+ pounds  or run 48.6 miles. This past year, I finally saw food for what it truly is: fuel. Food is no longer something to fear, but rather something I can enjoy and fuel my muscles with. I found that I can feel good about myself, not by the number on the scale, but by what I can accomplish with my body.

Now, when life becomes too much, or depression creeps in, I seek out a barbell. Seeing what I am capable of reminds me how far I've come.

Scale in a dumpster...GOOD RIDDANCE:

This year, I finally threw away my scale. I used to weigh myself morning, evening, and really anytime I was near it. I finally gave it the boot, and now I wake up and go to bed much more relaxed and happy.

I also ran in my underwear! As someone who was uncomfortable in my body, that was a huge step.

Do I still have days when I don't feel great in my own skin? Yes. But now I don't run to the toilet. I go to the gym and lift, or I run, or I phone a friend. I've learned to reach out.

Find good people and life seems so much easier.

To the Future:

So on the anniversary of the eve of me starting CrossFit, I want to say goodbye -- once and for all -- to the person I used to be. The person who did not think she was capable of much; the person who hid what was really going on; the person who did not respect herself enough.

Being bulimic has affected me, and that voice will always be there. But now – now, that voice is drowned out by the fight within me. I have caused damage to my body that I can't undo, but I've gained the strength to stop hurting myself and instead grow into an amazing, strong person.

Sure, I still get frustrated with myself or upset when something doesn't go well. But instead of beating myself up about, I take it as a challenge. I cannot wait to see what this year holds for me, because I believe in myself, and I want to fight for myself.

My new happy place.